I never wanted to cover dating, mainly for personal reasons. It's probably the dumbest I've felt, in hindsight when I analyze myself in past relationships. I prefer talking about aliens, or the spirit being a collection of conscious atoms. Yet for a blog named HUMAN DARKMATTER that's supposed to deep-mind-dive into the spaces between our consciousness to understand the structure of our thoughts ( and beyond), personal interactions like intimate, connected relationships are kind of a HUGE deal.
For this entry, we're going to begin breaking down ONLINE Dating. The goal, as always, is
improvement through understanding.
The filter is Me, as I can only provide notes from my interactions as a 40-something-year-old NYC [strange]Brown Man, with jack-of-trade experience, and who is a nerd, but also several other things that at the end of the day just equals more variety. This also means I should find it easier to have things in common with people, as I have so many interests.
This seems not to be the case most of the time.
Then if not shared interests, whats anyone looking for?
The first thing is impression and personality.
Online dating has turned Unique 1st impressions into a swipe, and personality into initialisms.
I think Human dating has become fine-tuned by machines as much as AI has instigated art revolutions. Yet what should not escape our thought is the responsibilities of the people doing the programming and directing. Pop culture is full of stories about 'greater goods' and people accidentally becoming the villains by trying to fix what isn't broken;
Human Instinct.
Or, to be more specific; Literal Organic Human chemistry.
Creating a digital space to simulate that is like describing a smell; it's up to our brains to fill in the gaps.
The memory of a scent, and how that aroma triggers something else physicological in you.
Online dating, regardless of profiles, has one bigger clear problem;
It's Online and people are even more skeptical, period.
It is an uphill battle in the age of digital identities and COVID brain where reality itself is constantly being brought into question across multiple scientific ( and conspiracy fringe fueled by political leeches) disciplines that it's no wonder we can't trust the chat on the other side of the screen enough to be interesting, or real in any way.
Which makes conversations boring.
Now I ask you; what's a good way to get to know someone during a chaotic free-for-all, but pay-to-play online dating landscape that makes more sense as a business model to keep people dating online than couple up IRL?
Don't waste time complaining on your profile
Ask yourself "what would I like someone to know about me."
Imagine that the photos you're sharing represent moments you want to have in common with a match
Ask questions.
Ask thoughtful questions.
Read the profile, ask yourself questions about them, and then ask the person questions about themselves.
My experiences thus far have left me with these, amongst other 'online dating perspectives' that I both practice and wish women I match with, practiced back.
outside of obvious safety considerations, ( or include them if you believe they are NOT obvious to others) What are some of your Dating perspectives and tips?
Next dating blog Entry: We're going to look at a few common things that show up on profiles;
Poly ( pardon me with that)
Religion
'Dont be boring/ Please be able to hold a conversation'
BTS video: AI answering my question about online dating.
[Asking Gemini Advanced]
[Human] Whats the point of online dating?
[Gemini] There are several potential benefits to online dating:
Increased access and opportunity: Online dating platforms provide access to a much larger pool of potential partners than you would typically encounter in your daily life. This can be especially helpful for people who live in rural areas, have niche interests, or have limited time to socialize.
Efficiency: Online dating can be more efficient than traditional dating methods. You can quickly screen potential partners based on shared interests, values, and relationship goals, saving time and energy in the long run.
Control and agency: Online dating gives you more control over the dating process. You can initiate contact, set the pace of communication, and be upfront about your expectations.
Reduced pressure: For some, online dating can feel less pressured than meeting people in person. It allows for more gradual development of connection and can be less intimidating for shy or introverted individuals.
Exploration and self-discovery: The process of creating a profile and engaging with others online can encourage you to reflect on your own values, interests, and relationship goals.
However, it's important to be aware of the potential downsides of online dating as well:
Misrepresentation: People may misrepresent themselves online, leading to disappointment or even scams.
Superficiality: The focus on profiles and quick judgments can sometimes lead to a superficial approach to dating.
Overwhelm and fatigue: The sheer number of options and the constant stream of messages can be overwhelming and lead to dating app fatigue.
Rejection: Rejection is a part of any dating process, but it can feel more impersonal and frequent online.
Safety concerns: It's important to be mindful of safety when meeting people online, taking precautions such as meeting in public places and letting a friend know your plans.
Ultimately, the point of online dating is to provide a tool for meeting potential partners. Whether or not it's a good option for you will depend on your individual preferences, goals, and circumstances.
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